Pumpkin spice products on shelvesTrained Catholic exorcists in the US
As pumpkin spice products have multiplied, Catholic exorcists have multiplied, a correlation of 0.978 that completes the exorcist correlation trilogy of seasonal flavors: hot sauce, energy bars, and now pumpkin spice. The demons are seasonal, apparently, and so is the flavor that correlates with their expulsion. One imagines an exorcist sipping a PSL between rites, which is probably how the Vatican relaxes in October.
Pumpkin spice products grew from about 60 to over 150 SKUs. Exorcists grew from 12 to over 175. Both nine-year upward curves driven by entirely different institutional expansions: seasonal product marketing and Vatican training programs. The pumpkin and the prayer share an autumnal aesthetic but not a mechanism.
Nine years of pumpkin spice and exorcists is the final entry in the exorcist flavor profile: the spiritual practice that correlates with everything Americans consume. The latte is ordered, the rite is performed, and the chart draws its line through both with the seasonal warmth of a coefficient that does not discriminate between the sacred and the spiced.
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Want to learn more about why correlations like “Pumpkin spice products on shelves” vs “Trained Catholic exorcists in the US” don't prove causation? Read our guide to statistical thinking.
