Starbucks stores worldwide

Between 2010 and 2022, Starbucks stores worldwide multiplied while toilet-related ER visits in the US declined, producing an inverse correlation of -0.9644 that the company's marketing department should never, ever use. The implication that Starbucks is somehow making American bathrooms safer—perhaps through the sheer volume of publicly available restrooms it provides—is not supported by evidence but is not contradicted by it either. The correlation is, by any standard, the funniest thing to happen to a coffee company since someone decided that 'venti' should mean twenty ounces. The toilets are grateful. Starbucks is welcome.

Starbucks grew from roughly 16,000 stores worldwide in 2010 to over 35,000 by 2022, driven by international expansion, particularly in China. Toilet-related ER visits declined due to improved bathroom safety infrastructure, grab-bar adoption, and changing data collection methods. Both are independent trends across the same 13-year window—one commercial expansion, one public health improvement—that moved in opposite directions.

A growing coffee chain and declining bathroom injuries will produce an inverse correlation across any shared window. The r-value describes opposite directions, not a causal relationship between caffeination and restroom safety.