Robot vacuums sold

Between 2005 and 2022 the American suburb acquired more firearms and more automatic floor-cleaning machines at almost identical rates (r = 0.959), which is the kind of graph that looks like a policy position until you understand it is simply a description of a garage. One device scares intruders; one device eats dog hair. Both ride the optimism of preparedness.

FBI NICS checks grew from around 9 million annually in 2005 to over 28 million by 2022, with spikes around elections, high-profile events, and the early pandemic; global robot vacuum sales climbed from about 600,000 units to over 26 million in the same window, with iRobot, Roborock, and Ecovacs all competing for the space under the couch. What connects them is the same consumer posture — the belief that a well-stocked home is a safe home — extending naturally from locks to alarms to Roombas to ammunition, until the American garage contains several categories that would have been mutually exclusive a generation earlier.

The safe clicks shut. The vacuum hums under the couch. Suburbia accumulates things it rarely uses in earnest.