Deaths from falling out of bed in the US

It is not entirely reassuring to learn that as one generation found new ways to meet each other after midnight, another generation found new ways to end up on the bedroom floor, but the data between 2005 and 2021 insists on pairing the two (r = 0.959). The young swiped; the old fell. The mattress, in both cases, was closely involved.

US online dating industry revenue climbed from about $250 million in 2005 to over $4 billion by 2021, with Match Group's acquisition of Tinder in 2014 turbocharging the category and Hinge completing the hat-trick; deaths attributed to falling out of bed rose from around 460 to nearly 900 annually in the same window, concentrated almost entirely in Americans over 70 whose balance, blood pressure, and medication regimens conspire to make 3 a.m. a hazardous hour. These are the opposite ends of the same demographic barbell — younger Americans extending adolescence with swipes, older Americans aging in place with Ambien — and both have reshaped the American bedroom in ways that show up in the actuarial tables.

One bed is swiped into. One bed is fallen out of. The furniture, as always, is indifferent to either use.