Deaths from falling out of bed in the US

As hummus revenue has grown, bed-fall deaths have risen, a correlation of 0.989 that adds Mediterranean dips to the infinite catalog of things that correlate with elderly Americans falling off their mattresses. The hummus is smooth, the trajectory is smooth, and the correlation is smooth. The bed, however, is not smooth enough to prevent the fall.

Hummus revenue grew from about 200 million to over 900 million dollars. Bed-fall deaths rose with the aging population. Same seventeen years, same upward shapes, same meaningless coefficient. The hummus consumers (young, health-conscious) and the bed-fall victims (elderly, balance-impaired) are different people in different aisles of the same society.

Seventeen years of hummus and bed falls is yet another entry in the bed-fall correlation catalog. At this point, the catalog is large enough to fill a self-storage unit—which, incidentally, also correlates with bed-fall deaths. The dip is consumed, the body falls, and the coefficient achieves 0.989 without achieving relevance.