Pumpkin spice products on shelves

As pumpkin spice products have proliferated, bed-fall deaths have risen, a correlation of 0.983 that adds autumnal flavoring to the bed-fall correlation catalog with the seasonal precision of a coefficient that peaks every September. The spice launches, the body falls, and the chart records both with the warm composure of a trend line that smells like cinnamon and tastes like statistical coincidence.

Pumpkin spice products grew from about 60 to over 150 SKUs. Bed-fall deaths rose with the aging population. Seventeen years, both up, same result. The pumpkin spice consumers and the bed-fall victims are different demographics. The coefficient is the product of shared direction, not shared season.

Seventeen years of pumpkin spice and bed falls is another entry in the bed-fall catalog, now spanning from atmospheric CO2 to seasonal flavoring. The spice is limited time, the correlation is indefinite, and the bed rail remains the only variable that matters. PSL: Perfectly Spurious Line.