Deaths from falling out of bed in the US

As more near-Earth asteroids have been discovered, more Americans have died falling out of bed, a correlation of 0.980 that connects existential cosmic threats to mundane domestic hazards with the cosmic indifference of a chart that treats both as equivalent dangers. The asteroid approaches at 25,000 mph, the elderly person rolls at 2 mph, and the coefficient records both without distinguishing between the scales of catastrophe involved.

Asteroids discovered grew from about 800 to over 3,000 per year. Bed-fall deaths rose with the aging population. Both seventeen-year upward curves. The asteroids were always there—we just got better at finding them. The bed falls were always happening—the population just got older. Both trends measure improved detection of pre-existing risks.

Seventeen years of asteroids and bed falls is a correlation between two kinds of risk assessment that both went up because we got better at measuring them. The asteroid is tracked, the fall is recorded, and both numbers increase not because the world got more dangerous but because our counting got more complete. The telescope improves, the hospital records improve, and the chart notes both improvements as equivalent achievements.