Choking deaths on food in the US

As the kombucha market has grown, choking deaths have risen, a correlation of 0.983 that adds fermented tea to the extensive catalog of wellness products that correlate with mortality statistics they cannot possibly influence. Kombucha is a liquid. You cannot choke on kombucha. The correlation exists anyway, because the aging population does not care what is trending in the beverage aisle.

Kombucha grew from about 100 million to over 1.8 billion dollars between 2010 and 2021. Choking deaths rose with the aging population. Twelve data points, both up. Kombucha, being a beverage, is the opposite of a choking hazard. The correlation is pure shape—two upward curves in the same decade, driven by wellness culture and demographics respectively.

Twelve years of kombucha and choking deaths is perhaps the most ironically safe correlation in the choking series: the wellness beverage that you literally cannot choke on, correlating perfectly with the mortality statistic it most cannot influence. The SCOBY cultures, the population ages, and the coefficient achieves 0.983 with the fermented confidence of a number that has brewed itself into meaninglessness.