Per capita wine consumption

As Americans have drunk more wine, more of them have choked on food, a correlation of 0.989 that sounds like an argument for separate dining and drinking but is actually just an argument for understanding confounding variables. The wine washes down, the food does not, and the chart connects the two with the sommelier confidence of a coefficient that has never paired anything correctly.

Wine consumption grew from about 2.4 to 3.1 gallons per capita between 2005 and 2021. Choking deaths rose with the aging population. Both smooth upward curves, same seventeen years. Wine is actually prescribed as a companion to meals partly because it aids digestion and slows eating pace—the opposite of a choking risk factor. The correlation is driven by the aging population simultaneously drinking more wine (health-conscious older adults are the primary wine consumers) and being at higher risk for choking.

Seventeen years of wine and choking deaths is a correlation that pairs perfectly on paper and means nothing at the table. The wine is poured, the food is eaten, and the coefficient is the product of an aging population doing both things more. The tasting notes are elaborate. The correlation is simple. Neither tells you what to eat for dinner.