Deaths from falling out of bed in the US

As more Chinese students have studied abroad, more Americans have died falling out of bed, achieving a correlation of 0.992 that connects international education to domestic mattress hazards with the geographical indifference of a coefficient that does not own a map. The students enroll at Harvard, the elderly fall in Akron, and the chart treats both events as part of the same phenomenon. They are not.

Chinese students abroad grew from about 285,000 to over 660,000 between 2010 and 2019. Bed-fall deaths rose with the aging US population. Both are smooth upward curves across ten years, and the correlation is the mathematical handshake of two monotonic trends sharing a window. The students and the elderly are different demographics on different continents, connected only by the accident of both metrics growing during the same decade.

Ten years of Chinese students and bed falls is another entry in the bed-fall correlation catalog: everything that grew between 2005 and 2021 correlates with bed falls, because the aging population produces a perfectly smooth upward line. The students are admitted, the elderly fall, and the chart admits no difference between them. The campus is across the ocean. The bed is across the room.