Trained Catholic exorcists in the US

As Amazon's revenue has grown from a mere 8 billion dollars to over 575 billion, the number of trained Catholic exorcists in the United States has grown from 12 to over 175, a correlation of 0.989 that raises the question of whether Amazon's relentless expansion is itself a form of possession. The packages multiply, the demons multiply, and the chart draws a line between e-commerce and exorcism with the spiritual confidence of a one-click checkout for holy water. Prime delivery: two days. Demonic expulsion: varies.

Amazon's revenue growth tracks the explosion of e-commerce from 2005 to 2023. Exorcist training expanded as the Vatican responded to what it describes as growing demand for spiritual intervention. Both are smooth upward curves driven by entirely different forces: Amazon by technological disruption of retail, exorcists by a conservative turn in Catholic practice. The shared variable is nothing more than both trends happening to be in their growth phase during the same two decades. The e-commerce economy and the exorcism economy share a country but not a causal chain.

Ten years of Amazon and exorcists is a correlation that practically writes its own novel: a society simultaneously consumed by consumption and concerned about spiritual well-being, growing both its largest retailer and its demon-fighting workforce in near-perfect synchrony. The package arrives, the prayer is recited, and the chart suggests they are the same story. They are not, but the number is devilishly good.